When
my oldest child was about 6 months old, I suddenly became aware that
most of my friends were childless! I was the first in my circle of
friends to have children and realized a growing need to find others who
were new parents and experiencing similar things to what I was. I was
looking for other mom friends to compare notes with about pediatricians,
early childhood milestones, and just to be sleep-deprived with. (Having
an accepting group of friends who didn't bat an eyelash when you
occasionally showed up with spit-up stains and unwashed hair proved to
be priceless!)
Thus I
began looking for a "Moms Group" to join. As I didn't have any mom
friends at the time, I started my search online. I looked for Moms
groups in my area through Google searches and online meet-up sites.
Although I attended meet-ups with a few different groups I found through
my searches online, I quickly realized the existing groups in my area
just didn't fit with what I was looking for. My two biggest problems
were that the children in the groups age-ranges were too widespread and
the geographical locations of the meet-ups were too far apart. I wanted
to find a group of Moms that was close to me and had children with
similar ages. So, I started a new one.
I
began by creating a Yahoo group with a detailed description focused on
Moms with children whose birthdays were within a year of my child's
and whose geographical location included the town I lived in and a few
other communities close by. Within a short time of starting the group, a
few local moms joined and then spread mainly by word-of-mouth. The group
quickly expanded to more than twenty members. This number meant that the group was big enough that most events would have good attendance but not so large that you did not feel connected to most of the group.
Once
up and running, I recruited help from other moms in the
group to put events on the calendar, share community events, and give
input. Everyone has something to bring to the table, and keeping it a
group effort proved successful for our Moms group and kept things more
informative and interesting.
Activities
were both planned ahead of time and added last minute, as impromptu
play-dates came up. They were hosted at public places (i.e. parks,
playgrounds, library) as well as at the homes of group members. When the
kids were smaller more regular events seemed popular, including regular
park play-dates, coffee meet-ups, and library story times that were put
on the calendar monthly. Some of the more popular monthly events often
revolved around holidays and included holiday cookie exchanges, costume
parties, Easter egg hunts, visits to the pumpkin patch, berry farms,
etc.
As our kids got
older, our schedules got crazier, and siblings were added into the mix,
the events seemed to get smaller, more personal, and less planned. For
instance, if someone was planning to visit the zoo the next day, they
might send a note to the group inviting anyone who was free to join
them. Families with more in common, similar schedules, and/or kids the
same ages tended to attend more last minute, smaller gatherings together
and friendships grew.
As
the years have passed, the group has evolved greatly. It began with
large meet-ups and an eclectic mix of people and personalities. Over
time, friendships have blossomed and people have drawn together into the
comfort of smaller groups within the umbrella of the original moms
group. Though regular play-dates are a thing of the past, the group now
serves as more of an on-going parenting resource...to gather opinions
and share resources with one another. We share information about
community events, babysitters, and all things parenting related in
addition to getting together to blow off steam at Moms only events.
Tips for starting a Mom's group:
- Identify key things you want from the group (i.e. location, ages, common interests, etc.)
-
Utilize free resources such as Yahoo Groups, Google, Facebook etc...to
set up a website and keep in touch with members, organize play dates,
share information, etc.
- Spread the word! Mention the group to Moms at the Library's story times, parks, and the grocery store.
-
Share the load. Though the group may begin with one or a few
individuals, be sure to find a way to include and get input from
everyone. The group will be richer for it!
-
Include a variety of activities that are recurring as well as
impromptu. This will help busy moms with varied schedules find something
they can fit in.
This
network of ladies and their awesome children have been an invaluable
influence in my family's lives and I am so thankful for their friendship
and support...nearly 5 years later! I hope that you will be able to create a similar community of support for yourself.
